Coupons: Offers you can't refuse

Allow me to begin by saying that I don’t really like McDonald’s, or fast food in general. When it’s convenient, my other options are limited, and I have yet to add a coating of lard to my major arteries in a given week I’ll splurge on a Value Meal.

Yesterday was different. I had an overwhelming urge to go out of my way for a Big Mac.

You see, I found a series of coupons on my kitchen counter which I assume came out of this past Sunday’s paper. The coupons were all “buy one _____ get one free” from McDonald’s. For some reason, they caught my eye, and it just so happened that I had a limited window in which to eat lunch. Without thought, I clipped the coup for BOGO Big Mac, and went off to Mickey D’s.

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There had to be something about that coupon that made me think I was getting an unbelievable deal. I of course ordered the two sandwiches, along with a large fry and a tea. I then proceeded to take part in one of the favorite sedentary activities of Americans; eating the fast food in my car. Because if you’re going to develop Adult Onset Diabetes, what better way than to not even give your fat ass the time of day to sit down and eat.

As I said, I don’t even like fast food, but something about that coupon made me feel like I couldn’t pass up the deal (they expired on August 1st!).

I’m not your stereotypical coupon clipper, yet I was reeled in. This incident has led me to realize what an easy print ad opportunity coupons really are. Their purpose is twofold: remind you that a place exists (or tell you about it for the first time), and give you an incentive to go (a discount or something for free).

As an added bonus to the advertiser, if you include the “must surrender coupon at purchase” clause, you can easily track your rate of return. If you run a commercial instead, you offer no additional incentive to come into the establishment and you have no idea which customers are there in part due to the ad.

In the money-centric society in which we live, we can’t pass up a bargain, especially for extra calories. Oh, and that second free sandwich? I wasn’t even able to finish it. You win this round, McDonald’s.

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I did a real ad (!)

Sorry for a lack of updates over the past couple weeks.

Big news: I conceived/designed a real ad that will run in a Northeast Florida directory this fall.

Story:
The company I'm an intern for, Showcase Publishing, creates directories for chambers of commerce in various areas around the country. We don't charge the chambers for this service, our revenue comes strictly from ads in the directories and on online, which we sell to members of the chamber so as to "enhance" their listings in the directory.

We've been working on the book for St. Johns County Chamber of Commerce, and my job was pretty much to sort, record, and file all the "insertion orders," or requests for ads. On a whim, I asked our designer on the project if I could "do" an ad. He took one of the orders I had just handed him and handed it back to me, and said "here, go at it." I borrowed another designers computer for access to Adobe CS4, and less than an hour later I had a pretty good looking quarter page magazine ad for CartSmarts of St. Augustine, a new golf cart sales and service center.

I assumed the owner, who requested the ad, would ask for changes because in his request, he indicated that he had seen little to no return on investment in his other forays into advertising. Since his business was very young, I'm not sure how quickly he expected a large turnaround, but then again I also don't know how often Florida's octogenarians buy golf carts, and how much competition there is in the market. It might be as big as used car sales in the Northeast.

To my surprise, the owner approved the ad within days, asking no questions and requesting no changes. Either it was as good as I'd hoped, or the man is easily impressed. Either way, it feels really good to have someone willing to pay for your work. I'll post the ad here when I feel it's safe to do so.

RIP: Billy Mays 1958-2009

Story

The direct marketing world lost an icon and one of the greatest pitchmen of all time today; Billy Mays was found dead in his Florida home a little before 8:00 AM this morning. He was 50 years old.

In a week where the entertainment world lost Michal Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon, it's hard to imagine losing another public figure. This one hits the advertising world particularly hard, especially with the recent rise of direct marketing (the "CALL NOW AND RECEIVE..." commercials) with the dip in the economy.

Mays had an unparalleled ability to sell you something that he made look really useful, even if you didn't need it at all. Products like OxiClean, Mighty Putty, and the Awesome Auger are just a few of his success stories. Recently, he had been seen pushing iCan health insurance, and mocking his own style in ads for ESPN360.com.

Little is known about Mays' shocking death right now, but foul play is not suspected. It is reported that Mays had been hit in the head by falling baggage after a turbulent landing on a US Airways flight Saturday afternoon; it will not be known if this was a contributing factor until after tomorrow's autopsy.

Many of us will genuinely miss one of the world's most transcendent marketing personalities.

Rest in Peace.

Burger King gives guys Whoppers

Yeah, the above image is from a Burger King commercial.

BK, the notoriously secondary burger joint in America, has been trying for years to keep its target away from McDonald's and other fierce, heart-disease inducing rivals. That target? Young-to-middle aged hard-working sex-obsessed men.

It has come to the point where BK's ads are obvious, shameless grabs for the attention of the Homer Simpson and Glen Quagmires of the world. Some of the ads challenge the target's masculinity (the Angry Whopper, anyone?). Others include subtly sexual imagery, which has progressed to outright innuendo.

In 2006, BK unveiled the Whopperettes in time for Super Bowl XL:

Needless to say, most of us would like to take a bite out of that sandwich.

One year later, the New Zealand Advertising Standards Authority pulled two BK ads on the grounds that they violated Advertising Codes of Practice in that country. See for yourself:

It's so big, they have to share it, too.

"Burger King has never intended to offend," said Marketing manager Megan Denize. "The ads are a light-hearted reflection of the cheeky nature of the Burger King brand. Burger King is a brand that prides itself on not taking itself too seriously. Our customers value not only our great tasting food but also our fun attitude."

Undoubtedly, at least 50% of the population values their fun, girls-bouncing-on-a-trampoline attitude.

Finally, we have BK's latest effort, this time in print. This one brought to my attention by my good friend, Danielle.

Failed tag lines for the Super Seven Incher ad? I'd guess:

• BET YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ALL

• THAT'S ALMOST 2 INCHES ABOVE AVERAGE

• FOR MAXIMUM PLEASURE...

• NOW WITH SECRET SAUCE

and of course

• SHUT UP AND SWALLOW

You've got to appreciate the King's efforts to grab hold of it's target. While McDonald's continues to become a global this-that-and-the-other-thing restaurant and Wendy's panders to those hit hard by the economy (it turns out Threeconomics is still not a college course), BK is sticking to the horny male segment of the population.

And even if they don't continue to sell their cardiac arrest on a bun, there's always the cologne market.


Have it your way, baby.

Adding Lil' to your name only works if you're a rapper

New from the people who brought you Lil' Wayne, Lil' Kim, Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boys, and expensive bottled water comes...

Here's Lil' Fiji, straddled by regular Fiji and what I assume is marketed as Big Ol' Fiji

That's right folks! The same bottled water shipped in from a rain forest on the island of Fiji, drank by the President himself now comes in a smaller and even less economical package! Why drink outrageously expensive 16 oz bottles of water when you can drink 11.2 oz bottles?

I was taken aback when I saw the above package on the shelf at Target. Now understand, I'm beyond the fact that people actually pay for water. Getting people to buy bottled water at all is one of the great successes of advertising of the last decade; most people have come to accept the practice. My house is constantly stocked with bottled water. There's something to the idea of the cleanliness or the healthiness of drinking a Dasani (Coke's tap water) or a Poland Spring (Nestlé ground water).

It's different when you're talking Natural Artesian Water. A nine-pack of Lil' Fiji goes for $8.99. A dollar a bottle. A 28-pack of Poland Spring 20 oz bottles goes for $6.54. That's 9 cents per ounce versus 1.2 cents per ounce. I didn't look up the comparable size for cheap water because 11.2 isn't really a legitimate or appropriate size for anything.

Let's go on the assumption that bottled water actually is better for you in some way than tap water. Therefore, both Poland Spring and Fiji (Lil' or otherwise) must both offer benefits that tap water does not. Based on the pricing, can we then deduce that Fiji is eight times better for you than the leading bottled water brand? In short, no.

People are willing to pay for brand names; if they weren't, my industry wouldn't exist. Somebody must be willing to pay a dollar a bottle for Lil' Fiji; the brand has actually been around for three years. To some people, Lil' Fiji must be eight times cooler than Lil' Poland Springs, or Lil' water from the faucet. To you folks, I say: thank you.

Without the upper echelon tool kits that buy products like Lil' Fiji because it comes from 8000 miles away and Barack Obama drinks it, branding would be meaningless, and I'd be drifting aimlessly through the world. And probably be a philosphy major.

Before hiring commercial actors, think with your dipstick.

I forget what I was doing when I saw the following commercial for IBM to think what it reminded me of.

It didn't really compel me to think of IBM as messiahs, so that was out. Then, it hit me. The "doctor" that appears talking about medical images or some nonsense was familiar. But from where...?

Don't see it?



This is a real "you pay too much attention to commercials" moment.

UPDATE
Upon further review, the actor is the same person, and was also in the movie Beerfest as Mr. Schniedelwichsen (and more ironically appeared in an episode of Mad Men). His name is Bjorn Johnson.

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In a world without advertising...

A cute little project from Mindrally, the site withoutadvertising.com allows users to fill in the blank. Literally, and that's all there is to it.

It's just a little bit of Web 2.1 fun, there's no moderation, so as soon as you post something, it appears on the site until bumped by new entries.

Unfortunately, the site just further renews my lack of faith in the human race. Some stellar responses (those that I assume are serious) include:

Without advertising,

"...everything will be the same"
"...everything would be awesome"
"...tv watching would be simpler"
"...all we'd have is the internet"

and of course...

"...i would be in cuba"

uhhhh...

You can see my entry in the screenshot (the one in yellow). I'm sure magazines as we know them actually wouldn't exist at all. Same with newspapers, TV, etc. I really can't imagine a feasible world without advertising. People say it brings up the prices of a lot of commodities, but it also brings down prices of media and other things, and creates competition that is vital to the survival of the economy.

"TV watching" would not be simpler...you'd have 3 channels to pick from and you'd have to pay a few hundred dollars a month to see them. But, heaven forbid Joey Baggadonuts opens up his limited worldview to see that commercials are more than annoying breaks in Family Guy and The Real World.

I'm considering adding to the list:

"...people would have one less thing to not understand."
and
"...I'd have a boring major."