Lindsay Lohan: Got Milk?

She's always been a milkaholic...

The New York Post is reporting that Lindsay Lohan, most famous of course for her role in the critically acclaimed Disney Channel original movie Life-Size, is suing financial trading company E-Trade over a recent spot that you may recognize from the Super Bowl and other placements:



Her gripe with the ad is the part where the protagonist baby's supposed mistress, Lindsay, is accused of being a "milkaholic." This little quip, which Lohan interprets as mocking her, apparently offends the Lohan camp enough for them to sue for $100 million dollars, that is:

The complaint, as so eloquently put by Lohan's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia:

"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit...They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

In other words, because Grey Group chose the name "Lindsay," they should have to pay up, because apparently there are no other Lindsays on Earth, and a spot featuring infants talking about investing somehow offended the star of The Parent Trap?

If anything, Linds should be offended by the way it was portrayed that her "character" was dating a male baby! Not even she is sure of her sexuality, how dare E-Trade insinuate at it!

I could go on to discuss the enumerable ways that this is ludicrous, but instead I'll take the high road:

I hereby offer a reward of one million dollars to anyone that finds anyone or anything using the name "Adam" that leads to a successful lawsuit against the parent company for using my name and characterization for business without my approval. Possible targets include:

Blink-182, for writing "Adam's Song" without my permission.
Snickers and NFL kicker Adam Vinatieri, for the monnicker "Adam Nougatieri"
Charles Addams, for his morbid portrayal and mispelling of my family's name
and of course,
The Bible, for associating me with the first man and his ejection from the Garden of Eden.

Suggestions are welcome.

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Mashups and sports commercials: mash made in heaven

Another incidence of recent pop culture overflowing into the industry:



This Gatorade spot, which remixes Muhammad Ali's famous promise, reflects a new-ish music trend. Mash up artists, previously confined to mixtapes and YouTube, are carving out a niche in the mainstream. They range from Joe Somebodies who have the software to throw together some tunes (that may or may not be copyrighted) in their respective dorm rooms to famous acts like Greg Gillis, aka Girl Talk.

Girl Talk live at Syracuse University's Juice Jam in Fall 2009

What prompted this post was the appearance of some new spots for the NBA which caught my eye (and more so my ear) last month.



I assume the spots come from Goodby, Silverstein & Partners because they are the agency behind the whole "Where...Happens" campaign (which has been brilliant through and through). They remix quotes from the NBA's best players and coaches on various subjects and set them to a beat, with a bit of T-Pain-style autotune for good measure.

Is it an original idea? No. DJ Steve Porter's "Press Hop," which appeared on YouTube last summer, is a very well done and hilarious mash of famous press conferences given by various players and coaches, and is done in the exact same style. I wouldn't be surprised if Goodby had contact with DJ Porter in crafting the NBA spots, although I also don't imagine with today's media technology that it is even that difficult to do.

The best of the spots however (seen here) has to be the "Where Defense Happens" mash, because of:

1) The inclusion of aloof Magic coach (and Ron Jeremy body double) Stan Van Gundy (right)

and

2) The inclusion of the only highlights of defense being played in the NBA ever known to exist

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Ridiculously silly concept.

Can anyone decipher the following ad for me?



This full page execution for FAGE yogurt appeared on the inside back cover of February's Bon Appétit.

My only question: what on earth does it mean?

You'll have to excuse my dairy product naivete here, but is ridiculous thickness an ideal quality in yogurt? I have to assume so, if that's the USP they're going with. I assume readers of food publications like Bon Appétit would understand better than I do, but the ad makes zero sense to me at all.

What does the thickness have to do with bees? Are you saying bees could use it to make honeycombs? I really think I'm missing something here, so I set out to investigate.

The website all follows the same motif, and quite frankly is really well done as far as intertwining graphics and web design while still having a navigable site.

The navigation bar sinks into the ridiculous thickness depending on which side you clock on. Props for that.

Things I learned from the website:

• FAGE is a Greek company founded in 1926
  
• FAGE is pronounced Fa-yeh (but it's all Greek to me...rimshot)
  
• They "never make a product that we would not give to our children"
  
• The thickness comes from the use of 4 pounds of whole milk in every 1 pound of yogurt
  
• The containers it comes in are called "pots," which kind of gives off that homey feel that grandma is churning this stuff out in her kitchen. That may or may not be a good thing.
  

Things I did not learn from the website:

• If beekeepers are beginning to use the yogurt to build artificial hives for their bees.
  
• Why FAGE is still paying their ad agency to come up with honeycombs pressed into really thick yogurt.
  

The lesson here, kids, is that although we can do some cool things with graphics, it doesn't mean we should. While yogurt is about as boring a category as you can get (wait, what am I saying? What about GOGURT!?), you don't have to throw all logical strategy out the window in order for people to look at your ad. In fact, I'm not sure I would have noticed this if a friend wouldn't have asked me, "do you understand what this means at all?"

If it doesn't stand out, it doesn't make sense and it quacks like a duck, chances are it's not a good ad. Unless it's selling yogurt pots by the busload, in which case, go nuts Fa-yeh.

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